Malory Archer is TV's greatest elite and snob. The Archer millionaire, with close links to both the law and its criminal underbelly, is no stranger on how to build wealth. Malory is a self-made woman who got her start working as a junior spy. Indeed, her first mission was to fly to Tunisia to kill a man. From there, Malory mixed with the top elites of the world, doing unspeakable acts, stealing money along the way, and cultivating her refined tastes.
The founder and head of a spy agency, Malory has no idea what it is like to be poor. She is driven by wealth, and never seems to be content, no matter how much money she gets.
10 "Are Your Boobs Made Of Corn Syrup?"
As part of her distinct personality, Malory dislikes anyone who is overweight. Her employees often comment on her own weight and how dangerously thin she looks. To stay that thin, Malory rarely eats and drinks only alcohol.
When Malory's granddaughter, A.J., is born, Mallory is upset that the baby is "chubby." Lana reminds Malory that babies are supposed to look that way, but Malory is not convinced and even refuses to feed A.J. her milk. She claims she'll end up "buying her liposuction for graduation."
9 "Shooting All The Jobs!"
"Immigrants! That's how they do you know? Just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs."
Malory hates socialism. After spending her adult life amassing wealth through very illegal and immoral means, Malory firmly beliefs that poor people are poor, because they don't work hard enough. Even though she once helped sneak thousands of immigrants into the US for a big payout, Malory is outspoken about her suspicions of immigrants.
In this instance, she was high on painkillers, and spewed stereotypes about immigrants that made no sense.
8 "That Rug Was A Gift From The Azeeri Khan Himself!"
Malory loves the finer things in life. A woman with a butler, a furrier, a driver, and countless Chanel suits in various colors, Malory has decorated her house with the most luxurious furniture. Her rug was gifted by someone very important, of course, hinting that the items in her house alone would cost millions of dollars.
In fact, when Malory helps Mexico's finest people smuggler with bringing thousands of immigrants into the US, she ponders on what expensive new furniture to buy next.
7 "Guess How Many Pygmies Died Making This?"
A former spy and current millionaire, Malory has done very many bad things in her life to keep her wealth. In fact, she often buys things that would enable her to flaunt her incredible wealth.
One such item is a new wood table for her office, which she boasts was so expensive, because it was made directly from an endangered tree that grows in the jungle. Malory feels no shame gloating about the amount of "pygmies" who died making the desk, using their death as a measure of how expensive her purchase was.
6 "Your Point Being?"
Malory does not get along with anyone, as noticed by Archer. In her expensive building, Malory has a long-running feud with fellow wealthy elite, and neighbor, Trudy Beekman. Similarly, she does not get alone with her building's Irish caretaker, whom she openly despises, because she blames the Irish for remaining neutral during WWII.
When her caretaker asks Malory for a Christmas bonus, because his son is battling a terminal illness, Malory is rude, and, instead, gives him a potato for the fourth year running.
5 "The People's Republic Of Canada"
- "You'd rather die in there than give us a cost of living adjustment?" - "Yes!"
As well as socialism, immigrants and the Irish, Malory is also very suspicious of the working class. She treats Cheryl and the rest of her employees with disdain because they are not wealthy like her. When some of the cleaners she employs ask for a raise, Malory murders them in an "accident."
Later on, the rest of her employees ask her for a cost of living adjustment while she is trapped in an elevator, and Malory refuses the request. Instead, she asks them to move to what she calls "The People's Republic of Canada" if they like socialism so much.
4 "All They Do Is Suck Money In"
"It's public television; they don't pay anything. All they do is suck money in."
This is one of Malory Archer's most impassioned and offensive rants about her detest for public television; her tirade goes on even further. She hates PBS because it is a socialist construct and, therefore, evil, and never to be trusted.
3 "That's Outrageous! I Won't Pay It!"
Malory does not like spending money on human life, preferring to use her money to acquire possessions. When her employees ask for a raise, Malory refuses to give them one out of her profits, forcing her upper-management staff to give away their bonuses to quell the strike.
Likewise, when Archer, Lana and Ray are captured by pirates, Malory quickly calculates how much the pirates might ask for ransom. Realizing it would be a lot, she tells herself that she would not pay the cost to have her son released from the arms of pirates, and she definitely would not pay to have Ray released, thanks to her dislike for people who are different from her like Ray.
2 "People With Servants"
Malory is very suspicious of the servants that work in her home. During a dinner party, one of Sterling's dates dies at the dinner table, so Archer asks her what kind of person swaps the pills in different bottles. Malory replies, "people with servants," further explaining that she switches the pills so that her servants will not steal them.
Archer asks her how this makes sense, to which Malory replies, "Because they can't speak English." Sometimes Malory is so insulated from real life that she often times gets her negative stereotypes mixed up.
1 "I'll Have Your Job!"
Working for Malory is no easy feat; her employees and her son bear the brunt of her abuse. In fact, everyone she comes in contact with bears the brunt of her abuse.
At the departure of a train to Canada (on her way to make money, of course), Malory is incredibly hostile and verbally abusive to the concierge, who is nothing but courteous to her, threatening to get him fired. He struggles under the weight of her suitcases while she warns him not to leave any marks on her possessions. At the end of the ordeal, she tips the concierge with a stick of gum.
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