Some television shows never get old and this includes The Golden Girls. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with the Golden Girls? They’re hilarious and they always eat cheesecake when there’s a problem. Life would never be dull with them.
Life is especially exciting if Rose Nylund (Betty White) is around. One of the most endearing TV characters ever created, Rose is innocent, naïve, a little ditsy, and humorous and she always has something wacky to say. In honor of Betty White recently celebrating her 99th birthday, it's time to look back at Rose's funniest lines on the show.
10 “And Mr. Bigbotter Wasn’t Too Happy When He Ended Up With A Litter Of Schnalmatians!”
Rose is known for her crazy stories about growing up in St. Olaf, Minnesota. Based on her tales, St. Olaf is a peculiar place that only makes sense to people who are from the country town.
During one of her stories, Rose describes a forbidden romance between two people, Gretchen and Buddy. When Mr. Bigbotter found them in a “most indelicate situation” in the front yard, he turned the hose on them. Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) finally catches on to the story, realizing that Gretchen and Buddy probably weren't humans. Rose says, “They were dogs! Gretchen was a Dalmatian and Buddy was a Schnauzer. And Mr. Bigbotter wasn’t too happy when he ended up with a litter of Schnalmatians!”
9 “The Older You Get, The Better You Get, Unless You’re A Banana.”
Rose’s life lessons aren’t always the best advice. The other girls on the show don’t take her seriously and just let her say whatever she wants to say at the moment.
For example, during one conversation, she says, “My mother always used to say: 'The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.'” Her mother wasn’t wrong. Bananas don’t get better as they age, unlike people. Rose is a wacky, silly woman, but she must have learned it from her mother.
8 “Boy, That Bull Would Have Been Jealous!”
The girls frequently discuss important matters, usually while eating cheesecake in the middle of the night. During one conversation, Rose explains how she described the difference between boys and girls to her daughter, Kirsten. She says, “I took the bull by the horns, turned him around, and showed her what makes a bull a bull.”
When Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) asks if this gave Rose a false impression of what a man looks like, Rose agrees. She adds, “Can you imagine my surprise on my wedding night with Charlie? Boy, that bull would have been jealous!” Leave it to Rose to turn a conversation like this into a humorous tale.
7 “No, It’s Me, Rose! I’m Just Wearing My Hair A Little Differently.”
Rose doesn’t understand most jokes or pop culture references. Bless her heart. In the season three episode, “One For the Money,” the girls remember when they competed in the same dance tournament. Dorothy doesn’t think Rose will go up against her in the competition, but when Rose arrives, Dorothy is shocked.
Quoting William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar and referencing the biblical figure, Judas, Dorothy says, “Et Tu, Judas?” Rose doesn’t understand the reference. Innocently, she says, “No, it’s me, Rose! I’m just wearing my hair a little differently.”
6 “That’s How We Got To Be The Broken Hip Capital Of The Midwest.”
Here we go again: Another St. Olaf story from Rose Nylund. While talking about aging, Rose remembers that the people in St. Olaf always respected the elderly. Because of this, Rose is always polite to Dorothy’s mother, Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty).
Rose explains, “We not only took care of our old people, we revered them, honored them, put them on a pedestal. ‘Course, that’s how we got to be the broken hip capital of the Midwest.” Even when Rose is explaining something important, her remarks usually end with everyone looking at each other and pausing in confusion before moving on with the conversation.
5 “I Keep Worrying That I Left My Car Windows Down.”
After Rose loses her late husband’s pension, she has to find a job to earn income. She eventually finds a job as a production assistant at a local news station. This is a stressful job and everyone wants Rose to relax. She’s overworking herself.
Rose tries listening to a relaxation tape. She’s outside on the lanai, listening to a tape that sounds like rainfall. When Dorothy asks if it’s helping, Rose answers, “Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.” Instead of helping her, the tape made her anxious about something else.
4 “Oh, Blow It Out Your Tubenburbles!”
In the season three episode “Three on a Couch,” the Golden Girls decide to go to a therapist after their bickering becomes unbearable. Things get heated and Rose finally snaps. Being Scandinavian, she starts talking in her family’s "native tongue," which is actually nonsense. For example, she calls Blanche a “gerchominochen,” which is someone you wouldn’t want to share your “hoodencoggles” with.
Dorothy eventually says, “Rose, if you say one more of those stupid words, so help me ...” However, she doesn’t get to finish her sentence before Rose interrupts. She angrily shouts, “Oh, blow it out your Tubenburbles!” Audiences can imagine what Rose is implying and it’s hilarious to see Rose finally let loose on the girls after years of taking their jokes and insults towards her.
3 “Dorothy, Was Sophia Naked Just Now, Or Does Her Dress Really Need Ironing?”
In the season three episode “The Artist,” Sophia arrives home only wearing a heavy coat. She’s nude underneath, which is hilarious in and of itself. When Rose asks why she’s wearing the coat, Sophia flashes her.
Rose later asks Dorothy, “Was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing?” It’s a good thing Sophia wasn’t in the room to overhear this remark, or else Rose would be sorry for ever saying that.
2 “Trying To Find Your Underwear In The Big Pile?”
One of the most well-known characteristics of Blanche is that she has many lovers. She’s promiscuous, flirtatious, and she’s always looking for a new date. On the show, the other girls frequently slut-shame her, but she takes the insults with a grain of salt.
After having a party, Blanche says, “Do you know what I hate doing most after a party?” Without missing a beat, Rose jokingly remarks, “Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?” Ouch, that was a burn.
1 “I Thought You Wore Too Much Makeup And You Were A Slut.”
Because Rose is often on the receiving end of the girls’ jokes and insults, it’s rewarding when she finally gets the last laugh. Blanche loves to tease Rose about her naïve nature. However, when she asks Rose about her first impression of her, Rose puts her in her place.
With still an innocent smile on her face, Rose says, “I thought you wore too much makeup and you were a slut. I was wrong. You don’t wear too much makeup.” It’s shocking to hear Rose talk this way, and just another example of the girls slut-shaming Blanche, it's also Rose being Rose and one of the most hilarious lines from the show.
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