Friends broke new ground by tackling pressing and critical social issues. Many storylines in the show deal with the prevalence of gender discrimination and rigid social norms and practices. Friends is a progressive pop-culture milestone for letting its female characters navigate the harsh realities of the real world on their own and for strengthening their agency. Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay started from scratch, whereas Monica Geller put in years of hard work towards her dream.
Having said that, fans also debate how Friends didn't do much to dismantle the gender stereotypes. Whilst a few storylines of the show were ahead of their time, others haven't aged well into modern times. Despite its powerful female cast and groundbreaking narratives, the sitcom has been roundly criticized for its representation of masculinity. Compelling arguments can be constructed for both sides.
10 Defy: Rachel's Journey To Independence
Rachel's character exemplified the importance of independence, autonomy, and the power of choice. Whereas Sandra Green went straight from the sorority house to her husband's house, Rachel decided not to marry Barry Farber and to start over in life. Although the marriage would have ensured economic security, she chose her happiness and independence over a lifetime of comfort.
Since Monica was already there, leading the way, she helped Rachel slowly adjust to her new life. Her path to success wasn't easy, and she worked a couple of unfulfilling jobs, such as waitressing at Central Perk and organizing cupboards at Fortuna Fashions. Rachel nonetheless stayed the course and persevered.
9 Didn't Defy: Joey Is Ridiculed For Wearing Makeup
In season 1, Joey Tribbiani models for the NYC Free Clinic and must wear makeup on the job. The first time he walks into Central Perk straight from work, he's laughed at for his appearance. Chandler Bing makes a couple of cracks about him wearing makeup and questions his masculinity.
Fashion and beauty choices are independent of gender identities or how individuals perceive themselves. Now more than ever, beauty norms continue to blur, but unfortunately, to Chandler from Friends, men wearing makeup was taboo.
8 Defy: Rachel Embraces Her Surprise Pregnancy
At the beginning of season 8, when Monica gives her opinion about single motherhood, she unknowingly freaks Rachel out. It's her wedding reception, and the two women discuss the positives and negatives of raising a baby alone. Monica, who at the time is unaware of Rachel's pregnancy, overwhelms her with questions surrounding the reality of single motherhood.
The truth inevitably comes out, and Joey offers to marry Rachel so she won't have to raise a baby alone. In response, Rachel politely turns him down, saying she isn't looking for a husband. Although she's recently found out about her pregnancy, she handles the situation with courage and grace and gives Ross the choice of being as involved as he wants.
7 Didn't Defy: Joey Insists Janine Change The Decor
In season 6, after Joey's new roommate Janine LaCroix moves in, she adds her personal touches to make the space cozier. When the previous tenant of the apartment, Chandler, inspects his old bedroom and living room, he berates Janine's taste in interiors and strongly insists Joey get her to change it.
He perceives small additions such as pink throw pillows on the couch, framed Anne Geddes wall art, and potpourri decorations as "girly" and a threat to Joey's masculinity. In the end, Joey forces Janine to change the living room decor back to the original, only to move her decor items in his bedroom.
6 Defy: Joey Loves His Shoulder Bag
In many ways, Friends was also ahead of its time, and Joey's man bag from season 5 is a good case in point. Even though he appeared a little hesitant to carry one, he was completely sold on the idea when Rachel showed him photos of male models with shoulder bags in Ralph Lauren's spring catalog.
This particular storyline would be one of the instances where Joey refused to succumb to peer pressure and stood his ground. Barring Rachel, none of the friends back then were familiar with the man bag trend. But as Joey rightly pointed out, just because they didn't understand the fashion trend, that didn't make it wrong.
5 Didn't Defy: The Patronizing Poker Game
In season 1, the girls take on the guys in a not-so-friendly poker game and challenge them to a rematch. The plotline is infamous for upholding the outdated gender stereotypes and has become more off-putting with time.
For starters, the guys claim they don't happen to know women who know how to play poker, leading Monica to critique their attitude as a "typical guy response." This is followed by a night of poker lessons wherein the guys sound condescending, and the women play half-heartedly. Monica is mocked for serving food with more than one syllable, and Phoebe throws away 2 Jacks because they didn't look happy. In the final game, Ross's conscious decision to let Rachel win to make her feel better borders on the savior complex.
4 Defy: The Men Use Face Masks
Besides the several life lessons Friends imparts, the show also makes a humble attempt to normalize men using skincare products. It begins with Joey picking up a facemask jar at Ross's, followed by a brief demonstration of the oily t-zone. Later in the episode, the guys apply the clay mask onto their facial t-zones but are a teensy bit hesitant to let anyone know. And even though Monica tries to poke fun at them, Ross immediately shuts her down by iterating the skincare benefits.
3 Didn't Defy: Ross Dismisses The Male Nanny
In season 9, after sifting through a pile of applications, the most intelligent member of the gang, Ross, is taken aback when a male nanny arrives at his apartment to be interviewed for the position. The applicant, Sandy, is totally qualified for the job and has a degree in Early Childhood Education. Yet, Ross, who has a Ph.D. in Paleontology, takes an immediate dislike to him.
After a few inappropriate questions, Ross briefly relents but eventually dismisses Sandy on account of being "too sensitive." It's one thing to have reservations about hiring a stranger but quite another to be angered by a man for working in childcare and having an interest in baking.
2 Defy: Ben Plays With A Barbie Doll
In season 3, Monica becomes the gang's voice of reason once again when she sees Ross trying hard to get his son, Ben, to play with a G.I. Joe instead of a Barbie doll. While Rachel calls him pathetic, Monica comes down on him for being too harsh with his infant son. "So he has a Barbie, big deal," she remarks before reminding him he'd to dress up in their mom's clothes as a child. In the end, the gang sides with Carol's decision to let Ben choose what he plays with and to not his toys be dictated by gender norms.
1 Didn't Defy: Narrow Range Of Emotions Displayed By Male Characters
Throughout the series, the male leads tend to be less emotionally expressive than the females. Chandler, for one, admits he's unable to cry, so Monica embarks on a mission to get him to open up emotionally. In season 4, when Ross decides he wants both Joey and Chandler to be his best men, the 3 friends well up but pretend to neglect their emotions out of the fear of being perceived as weak. It's an emotional moment, and yet the characters hide their feelings instead of embracing them fully.
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