The sitcom Friends was way ahead of its time, in that it broke gender stereotypes and defied social norms at the time when it aired. It was an exemplary show in many ways, but there are definitely certain plotlines that sound insensitive and callous in present times.
Even considering it as a product of its time, Friends has plenty of storylines and quotes that would be deemed inappropriate or offensive today. Some of the things the six beloved characters said or did have failed to stand the test of time, and while Ross Geller has many quotes that haven't aged well, it's time his little sister, Monica, comes under scrutiny too.
Right off the bat, Monica comes across as a sensible character, and it's hard to ignore how her friends' lives center around her or her apartment. Ross is going through his first divorce and he needs his sister to be there for him. She introduces Rachel to the group and listens to Chandler make jokes about parental detachment. Meanwhile, Phoebe just wants to know if Monica's new date eats chalk.
Then, Monica has a date with Paul the wine guy, someone she has wanted to go out with for a while. Things start off on the right foot except, on their date, Paul badmouths his ex, says he broke her watch to get through the tough time and lies about not being able to be intimate with anyone ever since. After hearing all this, Monica says she's happy Paul smashed her ex's watch, which is not only poor breakup etiquette but also a major red flag.
In season 1's "The One with George Stephanopoulos," Ross realized it was October the 20th, and Monica remembered a crucial piece of information from Ross's past, hoping he wouldn't. This is the anniversary of Ross and his ex-wife, Carol, consummating their relationship.
Not only was it downright creepy for Ross's younger sister to keep this piece of information safe in her memory for years, but it was creepier to watch her bring it up first. Of all the people, even Chandler, who was Ross's college roommate and had no idea, Monica did and had no reservations about letting people know she knew.
In the same episode, Monica expressed annoyance with the way Rachel and her friends greet each other. Sure, there was screaming, but Rachel was seeing her friends after a long time and her reaction didn't need to be mocked.
And even though it sounded like a harmless joke coming from Monica, the fact of the matter is, the tendency to make fun of certain gestures stems from rigid social conventions surrounding body language. Rachel and her friends' loudness was met with immediate distaste, and Monica made fun of it, not once, but twice. The question remains, why could the men in Central Perk could be as loud and carefree as they wanted, but women couldn't?
This would be the first of the many things Monica said in the show that didn't need a laugh track. The flashback episode, "The One Where the Stripper Cries," revealed that Rachel kissed Chandler back in 1987 when she tagged along with Monica to visit Ross at school one weekend.
Even though it was a long time ago, and Ross had so much going on in his life, he couldn't let it go because it was also the same night he'd kissed Rachel for the first time. He rushed to confront her and soon as Monica heard her best friend had kissed two guys in a night, she shamed her for an experience she said was "wild." The only thing wild about the whole story was Monica's tendency to criticize people every time she thought they violated her expectations of behavior, and this slut-shaming definitely wouldn't be okay today.
At Joey's rooftop party, not only did Monica make suggestive remarks to his co-stars, but she did so without caring for Chandler, who was stuck at a play alone. She openly flirted with the soap opera actors and even had one of them sign her bra.
Aside from the fact that Monica blatantly objectified the men here, she also challenged some moral ground by flirting with them while married. Remember, too, that these were the same people her friend, Joey, had a working relationship with. Chandler flirted with other women too, but never with such blatant disregard for his marriage.
The social construct that Friends communicates in regard to gender roles is full of toxic masculinity and has aged poorly. For example, there's nothing wrong with owning multiple copies of the Annie soundtrack, much less be mocked for it. In season 8's "The One With the Tea Leaves," when Chandler lovingly tells Monica they both have copies of the soundtrack, she sternly replies, "Honey, both yours." To her, getting pedicures, or being familiar with the musical Oklahoma! were all suggestive of his "lack of masculinity."
Every time Chandler did something that did not adhere strictly to masculine norms, it ended up diminishing his manhood in the eyes of others. Sometimes he was mocked for it by his very own wife in front of their friends.
Monica also associates colors with gender and feels there's something really odd about a grown man wearing pink clothing. In the same episode, when Ross walks into Central Perk to ask if anyone has seen his missing button-down, faded salmon color shirt, Monica teases him by saying it was actually pink in color.
She repeats the words "pink shirt," confirming once again to viewers she believes in rigid masculine stereotypes. It's season 8 by then and it looks like Monica's character refuses to look past dated social and gender norms and obsolete beliefs.
When Monica learned Chandler had broken up with his former camp girlfriend, Julie Graff, because she had gained weight, she demanded that he apologize to Julie. But soon, she ceded the moral high ground by specifically asking, "How much weight could she have gained?" To which Chandler replied, "145 pounds" between summers.
Not only was Monica's question irrelevant, but it was also wildly inappropriate, considering she'd gone through a similar experience. She was body-shamed during her high school years, and later in life by her friends whenever the subject of their childhood came up. Sadly, the adult Monica had become a person who seem to have a distinct lack of empathy.
The Turkey Day football game led by the Geller siblings quickly turns into a battle of the sexes in season 3's "The One with the Football." Friends are drawn into teams, even though some of them are disinterested to play. It's Thanksgiving and Rachel wants to just enjoy the food. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler would much rather speak to the Dutch girl, Margha, who has been watching them play for a while.
The episode rests on the stereotype that women are bad at sports and the only way to beat men at sports is to flash them. So when Phoebe asks their strategy, Monica comes up with the glorious plan involving their sexuality as their first and only resort.
This is just another instance of Monica blurting out things without regard for someone's privacy. After Rachel starts dating her new assistant, a man named Tag Jones, Monica somehow thinks she has a license to interrogate her on how she is going to handle their working relationship. When Rachel says she has reservations about being intimate on the first date, Monica immediately starts listing names to prove her wrong in Chandler and Joey's presence.
The issue isn't Monica's prying behavior, considering the six friends were a co-dependent group, however, it is being unable to control her verbal impulses. Monica's not-so-funny revelation is a major breach of Rachel's trust.
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