The best thing about the beloved 90's sitcom Friends is the fact that the main characters are so unique in personality that viewers can find themselves, and their real life friends, in any one of the six characters.
Our personal favourite is the unique, quirky, and mysterious Phoebe. Though very little is known about her past (and what we do know is truly tragic,) Phoebe manages to consistently be one of the kindest, positive, and loyal friends of the bunch. But, like most sitcom characters, she is not always in the right in every situation. There were sometimes in the shows lengthy run where Phoebe was simply in the wrong and today we are going to look at someone of these moments.
10 Stealing That Cat
Losing a parent, especially at such a young age, can be a truly traumatic thing. And that was not the only thing Phoebe lost. She lost her sister, her step-father, her home, and any sense of stability she might have had. She had to figure out how to stay afloat and alive on her own. That is truly tough and is something that her friends, understandably, want to be sensitive to.
However, when she decides that the lost spirit of her mother resides within a cat that she finds and decides to keep (despite the fact that it already has an owner) is just too far. We understand that she was hurt by the loss of her mother and that this creature brings her comfort. But you cannot claim ownership of someone else's pet. And the fact that she refused to back down, even when confronted was not her best moment.
9 Ross And Evolution
While Ross was in the wrong for trying to force his own beliefs onto Phoebe without any consideration nor respect for what she has chosen to believe, messing with him at the end of the day was a bit too far. Ross has based his entire identity around evolution, so Phoebe's denial of its existence was taken as a personal offense. And Ross even admits that there is a possibility that he could be wrong in the end.
And then Phoebe turns around and mocks him for changing his mind. We get that he deserved a bit of teasing for being so pushy about the subject but her new take on the situation just made it seem like she was manipulating him for her own amusement.
8 Acting For Mike's Parents
Mike and Phoebe are one of the best couples on the show and we love the fact that he embraces every inch of her, past, present, and future. And we can truly understand the fear that Phoebe felt when going to meet his parents for the first time. Mike is important to her and she was afraid that she was not good enough for him and that his parents would not approve.
So she put on a fake voice and did her best to convince them that she was something that she was not. But she shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. She was always the one character in the show who seemed to know who they were and didn't question it. Phoebe is not the kind of person to apologize or censor herself so it was just weird to see her to do so impress Mike's parents.
7 Manipulating Her Past
Trauma affects different people in different ways and Phoebe has had her share of dark moments. It is fair to assume that they still affect her, at times, even if she is able to carry on with her daily life without paying too much attention to all of the moments that lead her to where she is now.
However, there are several moments in the later seasons of the show where Phoebe attempts to use her past tragedies to manipulate the people around her into giving her what she wants. At first, the group give into her sob stories. But they quickly catch on and call her out when she tries it again in the future. Manipulating trauma in order to get what you want from other people is not a good look.
6 Changing Principles
Phoebe is a stubborn, determined, driven, passionate, and principled character. That is, when those principles are convinient to her. That sounds harsh but there are several moments within the show where Phoebe abandons her long and strongly held beliefs because doing so is easier for her.
She is utterly disgusted by the concept of making clothing out of fur, until she receives a fur coat that looks gorgeous on her. She refuses to eat meat until doing so eases her pregnancy symptoms. She believes that you should never flake on plans you make with your friends for a date, but does so multiple times throughout the show.
5 Old Lady Possession
We fully recognize the supernatural possibilities of the character of Phoebe. One episode reveals that Phoebe may have the ability to read minds when she notices that a member of the group is internally human. Other episodes hint that she may have the ability to not only see the future but to do so with extreme accuracy.
However, some moments were a little bit harder to believe than others. And one of the more outlandish moments was the episode where Phoebe becomes convinced that the spirit of a patient that died on her massage table has possessed her. This weird storyline ends in a short outburst at Carol and Susan's wedding.
4 Trying To Take One Of The Babies
An important thing to remember when looking critically at the character of Phoebe Buffay is empathy. Her storyline involves a lot of touching moments and it is important to have compassion for her, even when she does things that make us scratch our heads.
A great example of this is when she confessed to Rachel that she wanted to take one of the babies that she was carrying for her brother. We understand the emotion behind the choice. We understand how connected she was to the children she carried for nearly ten months and how painful giving them up was going to be. And we understand that the ever optimistic and hopeful Phoebe dreamt of a world where she got to keep one of them.
3 Mike Vs. David
There was something special between Phoebe and David. Unfortunately, there was also something special between Phoebe and Mike. And though we were cheering for Mike when he interrupted Phoebe's date with David to propose to his ex (as it was obvious that Phoebe still had feelings for Mike,) it does not make the awkwardness of the entire situation any better.
In all honesty, it was hard to feel anything but bad for David after the credits began to roll.
2 Performing Outside of Monica's Restaurant
While we truly do love and support Phoebe's musical career, we wish that she would understand that her unique tunes are not for everyone and that they have a time and place. Throughout the show, Phoebe pushed to play her music at places and in times that were not really appropriate and it was uncomfortable for everyone.
We understand that she simply wanted to share her music with the world and help Monica out, as she mentioned the long line of customers at the restaurant, but it was rather frustrating watching Monica try to explain (multiple times) that the help was appreciated but unnecessary. Respect your friends place of work, listen to them when they say no, and know when it isn't the right time to whip out your guitar.
1 The Book She Wrote
Artists often get inspiration from the world, and people, around them. But there is a difference between being inspired by something that happened to someone close to you and writing out a judgemental version of their lives, as they occur.
Phoebe's book, which was based on Monica and Chandler, was about what people do wrong in relationships and she included the details of their fights and intimate moments in its pages. She also withholds important information in order to stir up petty drama between the two out of spite.
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