As a Sith Apprentice whose goal has long been to fill the shoes of Darth Vader, Ben Skywalker has made many, many mistakes. Many of these mistakes spawn simply from the Sith code that they follow.
Though his death felt wrong after his long and complex redemption, it made sense. After three films in which Kylo exhibited acts of pure evil, he could not become the ultimate hero of the trilogy. And though many of his mistakes are ones that few of us can relate to, there are many that we can all learn from. Here are the top 10.
10 Forsaking His Teacher
Youthful arrogance is so often the bane of any teacher. Yes, the Luke we met in The Last Jedi was misguided, and acted out of fear. But before that instance occurred, Kylo had already begun to lean towards the Dark Side, forsaking his master and his master's teachings, feeling, as young students so often do, that they, in fact, know more than their teachers.
In this, we are so often wrong; wisdom comes as arrogance fades, with age and experience.
9 Seeking Power
Greed is a mark of the Sith, and it is a dangerous thing. Lust for power over others, for the kind of cruel strength that places oneself above someone else, while forcing that person lower, is a cowardly thing, driven by fear and insecurities. It is another aspect of the Sith code that will never allow for ultimate happiness or inner peace.
Letting go of power, letting go of arrogance, these are things that we should all employ, no matter how difficult they are.
8 Pursuing Anger
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion."
The Dark Side works by channeling raw emotions through the Force; hatred, fear, and anger all amplify a Sith's powers. But regardless of the fact that anger allowed Kylo to achieve greater raw strength, acting out of rage will always be a brutal mistake. Those that act out of anger are prone to feelings of guilt and regret; by keeping our emotions in check, and forcing ourselves to be level-headed and calm, we give ourselves an even greater strength.
7 Using Violence
This applies not only to the Sith but to the Jedi as well. Especially during the Clone Wars, Force users pursued violent means of conflict resolution. This method has obviously been used throughout our own history, and the results are never pretty. There are no winners in a fight, whether that fight is between two men or two armies. There are only those that lose less.
But it can be argued that by fighting at all, you have already lost. Defense is important, but violence for its sake, violence for the insurance of power and respect, is a flawed idea.
6 Refusing To Accept His Own Fears
Often, the more proud we are, the less inclined we are to accept and face our fears. Kylo Ren is a perfect example of this. His pride, his arrogance, and his desire for strength and power make him afraid to accept and understand his own fears. If we seek growth and inner-understanding, acknowledgment of fear is essential.
Kylo fears his master, he fears not being strong enough, he fears losing himself to the darkness, just as he fears losing himself to the light. If he had faced himself and his fears with honesty rather than vanity, perhaps his redemption might have come sooner.
5 Living For Others
Following and respecting a teacher is one thing, but sacrificing your freedom to follow your own path, to instead live with the goal of making someone else proud of you is an entirely different thing. Ben Skywalker spent his life living for others. We don't know if it was his choice to train as a Jedi under Luke, but there is a good chance the choice was made for him.
And when Luke failed him, he fell under Snoke's wing, where he did everything in his power to make Snoke proud, to live up to his expectations. If only Ben had been able to go his own way, perhaps he would not have studied the Force at all.
4 Cannot Accept His Own Insecurities
Just as an inability to face your fears can leave you broken and weak, so too can an inability to accept your own insecurities. This also stems from a place of pride; no one likes to admit to themselves those things that make them feel weak. But by admitting those insecurities, you make yourself stronger.
Kylo Ren was insecure about many things; his manhood, his power, his strength, and his rule. These insecurities manifested themselves in the form of the temper-tantrums that he became so well-known for. You cannot grow if you do not know where you need to improve.
3 Is Afraid To Show Emotion
Wearing a mask is a manifestation of insecurities and fear. In this case, Kyko's mask was physical as well as metaphorical. He wore the mask to hide, because true emotion, true instances of fear or sadness that crept across his face, were, in his eyes, unworthy emotions.
Living without a mask is living freely. There is no shame in tears.
2 He Is Caught Up In The Past
The idea of revenge is a Sith idea. And this concept of vengeance spawns from an inability to let go of the past, an inability to forgive.
Kylo Ren spent the entire trilogy haunted by his past misdeeds and transgressions. The murder of his father left him broken and filled with regret and guilt. He was unable to let this go, just as he was unable to forgive Luke for his own mistakes. An inability to let go of the past means you will live in stagnancy. You cannot fly if the past is tied in an anchor around your feet.
1 He Leads By Fear
There are many styles of leadership. The worst is one where fear is the motivator. Men who are led by fear are far less loyal, and far more likely to abandon you. Kylo Ren Ruled by fear. He would kill those who failed him, threaten to kill those who presented ideas that differed from his own, and he would rage constantly, as though he needed to remind his followers that he could kill them if they disobeyed him.
The result was General Hux, who turned spy for the rebellion. A man who leads with respect and obvious care, who exhibits patience and open-mindedness is a leader who will attract followers to him. And those followers will be zeal and loyal to the last.
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