Miranda Bailey has been one of the most important characters on Grey's Anatomy. She has been an integral part of the show since the very first season and continues to be so. While Bailey's storyline does form a lot of the emotional core of the show, she has been in many hilarious situations that has seen her deliver lines of comedic gold.
Bailey is incredibly straightforward in professional matters, yet extremely awkward about some particular topics. Since the personal and the professional are the mixed subject in the hospital, it provides a lot of fodder for Miranda's amazingly funny quotes.
10 "Find A Man That Is Interested In Fistulas"
A very drunk Bailey tells her drinking buddies Teddy, Mark, and Callie that she is only interested in a man who is as interested in fistulas as her. When Teddy was talking about online dating and the boxes she ticked in them saying she liked hiking and dogs, Bailey talks about how the only boxes she wanted to check were boxes that said she was interested in fistulas and pancreas.
To see a drunk Bailey is in itself entertaining for audiences, but this particular exchange was made all the funnier with Bailey's insistence on repeating 'fistulas'.
9 "It's Idris Elba!"
Bailey and Warren have a disagreement about whether they should keep each other on life support or not if the worst was to happen. While Bailey insists that she doesn't want any extraordinary measures, Ben tells her that he would like to be placed on life support, giving her some optimistic, hypothetical situations.
Bailey then proceeds to give Ben multiple hypothetical scenarios of her own, one where she attempts to explain how Ben being of life support would prevent her from having a chance to be with Idris Elba. She doesn't even regret her words, which is why Ben and the viewers find the situation all the more hilarious.
8 "Alex Karev Is Not The Boy You Want To Take Your Maiden Voyage With."
A very drunk Miranda Bailey decides to give April Kepner advice on her love life - which is extremely awkward for Kepner but hilarious for fans. As many fans remember, April had almost lost her virginity to Alex Karev. Bailey insists that April didn't want to do this considering the way Alex had often treated women.
She tells her that April needs to find someone kind and someone who actually loves her. Someone who is like "Ben, but not her Ben." Even April couldn't hold back the laughter after this.
7 "Stare Him Down."
When Callie asks Miranda how she gets things done from attendings who are too busy and stuck in their own world, Miranda tells Callie her signature technique of staring people down.
It is quite obvious to everyone that Bailey's ability to stare someone down and convince them to do what she wanted was quite something. However, her spelling it out like this made it clear that she always knew the power she had. Callie follows her advice and manages to get things done as well.
6 "This Man Is A Wh*re, Has Always Been A Wh*re, And Will Always Probably Be A Wh*re."
When the nurses' boycott Dr. Sloan, after a day of deliberation, Bailey tries to make a case for him. While Sloan is under the impression that she was going to defend him, she straight up just states the obvious to the nurses.
She clearly says that Mark has never played down the fact that he sleeps with multiple women and doesn't seriously engage in any relationships with them. Still, no one ever expected this quote to come out of her mouth.
5 "O'Malley. Stop Looking At My Vajayjay."
Bailey was refusing to push after finding out that her husband wasn't with her yet. But, after a point, George decides to help her and supports her through the labor process. When the baby was being pushed out, George starts making comments about how the baby is cute and has a lot of hair.
But Miranda brings that series of descriptions to an end asking him to give her some level of privacy. This is truly one of the most peak Bailey-esque things to be said by her.
4 "Which One Of You Left Your Damn Drawers On My Surgical Floor?"
After Meredith and Derek's debacle at the prom in the hospital, Addison finds Meredith's underwear in Derek's pockets. She carefully washes it and puts it up on the bulletin board as a small way to take her revenge.
Bailey's discomfort on finding the lacy black underwear pinned on the notice board is incredibly funny. And then she proceeds to very briskly ask whose it was in what can only be called as the typical Bailey manner.
3 "The Vajayjay Is Undiscovered Country."
When Callie was panicking about her date with Hahn and the expectations that may come, she shares it with Bailey. While Bailey was initially overwhelmed with the information and couldn't give any sensible advice, she later goes up to Callie and gives her what she considers very comforting advice.
She says that since Callie was new to this, she obviously didn't know the 'customs and ways' so she had to prepare and do some research. Bailey also added that the 'cuisine' of the 'undiscovered country' might or might not be for everyone and either thing was okay. Although Callie is initially lost, she soon realizes what Bailey means and thanks her for the advice.
2 "Rule Four: The Dying Patient Better Not Be Dead When I Get There. Not Only Will You Have Killed Someone, You Woke Me Up For No Reason."
Fans' introduction to Miranda Bailey in the very first episode of the show was with Bailey's monologue on the different rules her interns had to follow. While the entire monologue was scary and funny at the same time, this particular rule from her entire list of rules was especially funny because she makes light of the fact that hers is a serious job with serious consequences.
1 "I Require The Energy Of Youth."
When Richard had everyone in the hospital sign forms that listed the people they were sleeping with, Webber made it explicitly clear that Bailey was exempt from doing the same. As a single woman, Bailey took offense at the suggestion that she didn't have a life outside the hospital.
So she prepares a fake list with the names of many interns, which shocked Webber, to which she replied with the above quote. She also added how she supposedly had multiple rendezvous with Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd as well, which just increased the comical aspect by tenfold.
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