When Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David pitched a Seinfeld episode in which the characters spend the entire half-hour runtime waiting for a table in a Chinese restaurant, network executives were horrified by the mundane premise and even tried to veto it. They relented when David threatened to quit the show and the resulting episode, season 2’s “The Chinese Restaurant,” ended up being a major milestone in the show’s history.
It was one of the first episodes that telegraphed to fans that Seinfeld was growing into a sitcom unlike any other, one that would go on to revolutionize the form.
10 Asking For A Table
At the beginning of “The Chinese Restaurant,” Jerry, George, and Elaine enter the titular eatery on their way to a screening of Plan 9 from Outer Space. The maître d’hôtel, played hilariously by James Hong, greets them.
They don’t have a reservation and he tells them they’ll have a table in “five, ten minutes.” This becomes his recurring catchphrase throughout the episode as the time window never changes.
9 “You Know, We’re Living In A Society!”
All throughout “The Chinese Restaurant,” George wants to call his girlfriend Tatiana to invite her to join them. However, the phone is initially being used by a man, and then a woman snatches it from George. He cries out, “You know, we’re living in a society! We’re supposed to act in a civilized way!”
He returns to Jerry and Elaine and says, “Does she care? No. Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems of a fellow individual? No. No. A resounding no!” The guy who was using the phone then apologizes to George and he immediately says, “Oh, that’s okay, really, don’t worry about it.”
8 Jerry Is Greeted By A Woman He Doesn’t Recognize
It’s really awkward to be approached by someone who recognizes you when you don’t recognize them, and Jerry finds himself in this position in “The Chinese Restaurant,” as a woman played by Judy Kain greets him.
He pushes through the conversation with vague niceties until she reveals who she is: Uncle Leo’s receptionist. Then, he realizes that bumping into her will reveal to his uncle that he lied about being busy.
7 George Explains Why He Needs To Speak To Tatiana
While George gets flustered about the people using the phone, Jerry wonders why he’s so desperate to speak to Tatiana. He explains that he was in her apartment, about to have sex, and he needed to use the bathroom.
Her bathroom didn’t provide enough privacy, so he left in the middle of amorous activity. “The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am, in reality, Batman.”
6 “My Uncle To My Aunt, My Aunt To My Mother, My Mother To My Uncle...”
Having lied to get out of going to dinner with his uncle so he could see Plan 9 from Outer Space, Jerry worries that seeing his receptionist will destroy his web of lies.
Jerry explains to Elaine the long journey that this story will make through his family unit: “My uncle to my aunt, my aunt to my mother, my mother to my uncle, my uncle to my cousin, my cousin to my sister, my sister to me.”
5 Elaine Accepts Jerry’s Bet To Eat An Egg Roll
Elaine is starving throughout “The Chinese Restaurant.” She can’t wait the “five, ten minutes” they’ve been told they’ll have to wait for a table, not to mention how long she’ll actually have to wait.
Jerry offers her $50 to eat an egg roll off somebody’s plate in the restaurant, so she walks up to a table and offers to split the $50 with them, but they have no idea what she’s talking about.
4 “Cartwright! Cartwright!”
When Tatiana calls the restaurant and asks for Costanza, the maître d’hôtel shouts out, “Cartwright! Cartwright!” Naturally, George doesn’t respond to the wrong name, so he tells Tatiana he isn’t there.
George inquires about this, the maître d’hôtel explains the whole story in which Tatiana utters a profane epithet so he hangs up.
3 “You’re Not Cartwright.” “Of Course I’m Not Cartwright!”
After being told that Tatiana called the restaurant and hung up because he didn’t come to the phone, George returns to his friends and says, “She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.” Jerry asks, “Who’s Cartwright?” “I’m Cartwright!”
Puzzled, Jerry says, “You’re not Cartwright,” and George snaps back, “Of course I’m not Cartwright!”
2 Jerry Tries To Bribe The Maître D’Hôtel
After waiting for a while, Elaine tells Jerry to bribe the maître d’hôtel, so he approaches him and casually slips him some money to get them bumped up the queue for a table.
However, the maître d’hôtel doesn’t read the situation right. He takes the money, but then just tells them yet again that they’ll have to wait “five, ten minutes” for a table.
1 “Seinfeld, Four!”
All the best Seinfeld episodes have a great punchline ending. At the end of “The Parking Garage,” when they finally find the car, it won’t start. At the end of “The Puffy Shirt,” all the puffy shirts go to Elaine’s charity to clothe the homeless.
And in “The Chinese Restaurant,” just when Jerry, George, and Elaine decide to give up and leave the restaurant, the maître d’hôtel calls out, “Seinfeld, four!”
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